Oh Sasuke
by Famid
Summary: Orochimaru is getting creative as he waits for Sasuke's arrival . . .


Parody to the silly song "Oh Santa!" from Veggie Tales: The Toy That Saved Christmas.

Disclaimer: I own neither Naruto nor Veggie Tales.

* * *

_"Oh Sasuke"_

It is Friday night, and Orochimaru is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Sasuke Uchiha. He has promised to give him power.

Orochimaru sings ecstatically:

"Oh Sasuke! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to come, and I've got power. Oh, lovely power. Just bring your Sharingan, oh yes, your pret-ty Sharingan . . .

". . . and bring your booooody!"

~ting ting!~ Door: *BUMP BUMP BUMP*

Excited:

"Could that be Sasuke? Could that be HIM? Could it be the one who brings Sharingan to a sick freak like me? Such a siiick freak like meeeeeeee?"

Door opens: Enter Kabuto

Orochimaru, genuinely curious: "Who are you?"

Kabuto answers nerdily:

"I'm Kabuto! And I've come to give you facts. Oh yes! I've come to give you facts! And I've come to give you info and statistics . . . and I've come to . . . heal-up your body. . . and sell you my soul."

Orochimaru, suprised:

"I don't need info! I don't need facts! But I have power. Some yummy power. And I don't need more souls, but take some strength, my ner-dy friend! Please have some strength, my nerdy friend! It is for Sasuke. . . but you may have sooooome."

Kabuto is touched by Orochimaru's goodwill and jutsu, but Orochimaru, though momentarily distracted, is still giddy for Sasuke's arrival.

Orochimaru and Kabuto sing simultaneously; Kabuto sings smoothly:

O: "Oh Sasuke! I can't wait for you to come -" K: "I'm Kabuto! And I've come to serve a creep!"  
O: "I just can't wait for you to come!" K: "Oh yes! I've come to serve some freak."  
O: "I'll give you power."  
K: " He gave me power. . ."  
O:"Oh lovely power . . ."  
K: "Some yummy power . . ."  
O: "Just bring your Sharingan -" K: "I've brought for him my soul -"  
O: "Oh yes, your pretty Sharingan . . ." K: "Oh yes, I've brought for him my soul . . ."  
O: "And Bring Your Booooood-yyyy." K: "And brought my booooooood-yyyyyyyyyyy."

~ting ting ting!~ Door: *POUND POUND POUND*

Orochimaru, tingling:

"Could that be Sasuke? Could it be HIM? Could it be the one who brings Sharingan to a sick freak like me? Such a siiick freak like meeeeee?"

Door opens: Enter Sakura

Orochimaru, confused: "Who are you?"

Sakura, twitterpated:

"I'm Sakura! And I've come to marry Sasuke! Oh, I've come to marry Sasuke! And I've come to say, 'Muah- muah, oh boy, I love you . . .!' And I've come to . . . marry 'my Sasuke' . . . and be his girl!"

Orochimaru:

"You'll have to waaaiit. Sasuke is coming to me for power but he does not know that I will steal his body."  
Kabuto: "His yummy body."  
Orochimaru: "But if you like me, I'm sure that we can make a deal, so that you and Sasuke can always be together . . . but not _aloooooooone_."

Orochimaru acts as if nothing happened and sings in unison with Sakura; Sakura is disturbed but determined:

O: "Oh Sasuke! I can't wait for you to come-" S: "I'm Sakura! And I've come to marry Sasuke!  
O: "I just can't wait for you to come!" S: "Yes! I still will marry Sasuke!"  
O: "I'll give you power."  
S: "But there's a problem . . ."  
O: "Oh lovely power."  
S: "A complication . . ."  
O: "Just bring your Sharingan-" S: "We still will be together,"  
O: "Oh yes, your pretty Sharingan. . ." S: "Yes, now always and forever. . ."  
O: "And Bring Your Booooood-yyyy." S: "But not _aloooone._"

~ting ting ting!~ Door: *BANG BANG BANG*

Orochimaru :

"Could that be Sasuke? Could it be HIM? Could it be the one who brings Sharingan to a sick freak like me? Such a siih-hick freeeeak like meeeeee?"

Door opens: Enter Naruto

Orochimaru asks questioningly: "Who are you?"

Naruto: "I'm Naruto! BELIEVE IT! And I've come to take back Sas- !!"

Door: **BAM**

Orochimaru, smiling after slamming door: "Oh Sasuke! I can't wait for you to come, I just can't wait for you to cooooome. . ."

Door opens: Enter Sasuke

Orochimaru gasps: "It's _finally Sasuke_! It's finally HIM! It is the one who brings Sharingan to a good boy like me! Such a good boy li-ike meeeeeeee . . .!!"

Sasuke:

"I'm Sasuke. And I've come to get pow-er, oh yes, I've to get pow-er, and I've come to get the strength to kill my brother . . . And I've come to . . . get more power. . . and escape Sakura."

Sasuke sees Naruto lying on the floor. "Hey. . . what's that loser doing here?"  
Sasuke sees Kabuto. "Who's the nerd?"  
Sees Sakura. "WHAT IS _**SHE**_ DOING HERE?!!"

Kabuto speaks: "Hello. I am -"  
"OH, **SASUKE**!!!" Sakura exclaims.  
Sasuke: "I'm out! I promised myself I'd live long enough to kill my brother!"  
Orochimaru: "WAIT! WE MADE A DEAL!"  
Sakura: "Yeah! It'll be the _three of us together_, _now and forever_. . ."  
Kabuto: "I think you mean four. . ."

Sasuke grunts in total disbelief. Sakura flies to hug him, but he uses a replacement jutsu with Kabuto.  
Kabuto, looking down at Sakura: "Hi there."  
Sakura screams.  
Sasuke flees out the door.  
Orochimaru yells: "SASUKE!"  
Sakura runs out the door after Sasuke: "SASUKE, SWEETIE!"  
Kabuto is stunned because a girl hugged him.

Naruto wakes up. Orochimaru is staring at the door breathing heavily in disbelief.

Naruto: "Hey. You got any more power?"  
Orochimaru bites him.  
Naruto thanks him and walks out the door.


End file.
